But what happens when the well runs dry? What happens when TLC isn't so tender-love-and-caring to it's viewers? What happens when you eat dry ice*? That's where I come in, with some brand new shows to satisfy the craving for subpar television.
* denotes a question that is purely for my curiosity.
TLC… take note.
Show #1: Ghost Odor: an Investigation In Paranormal Showering.
Description: Led by an expert ghost hunter, a team of investigators attempt to find out why some ghosts smell, and some do not.
Show #2: Blind Nascar: Feel the Road…Or Feel the Wall.
Description: 200 mph of sight-free racing. The visually impaired must navigate the high-speed turns at neck-break speed in order to taste, smell, hear, and touch victory.
Show #3: Government Gone Wild: Furry, Feisty, and For the People.
Description: A rag-tag campaign team attempts to get a small clan of badgers elected to congress. Look as these tiny polititions strive to prove that humans aren't the only mammal incapable of running a country.
Show #4: Eating a Bicycle: The Quest to Consume a Bicycle.
Description: Watch as a man tries to eat a bicycle.
Show #5: Swapfari: A Tour of the Concrete Jungle.
Description: Safaris are fun, but it's time we give back. Watch as our tour guide drives a vehicle full of large African game through the busy streets of New York City. Chaos ensues as we quickly realize this is an awful idea.
There they are TLC. Pay me handsomely and these top-notch ideas can be yours. I've gotta go. It's time to start filming. Now... where's that bicycle…
